I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
