You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
