At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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