So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
