Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
