Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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