Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
