sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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