Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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