Who wears a wallet chain?!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
