hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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