i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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