Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
