One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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