...so i touched it.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
