I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
