Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
