are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
