Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
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