Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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