Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
be right there i have to get my cape
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
