I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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