this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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