I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We have started to decorate penises.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
