haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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