Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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