rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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