i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
