He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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