My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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