Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
