I'm gonna have a badass scar
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
well you can't waste a boner
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
