i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
