i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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