break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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