Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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