This is not my ceiling
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
