Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
