That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
