I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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