people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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