Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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