Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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