Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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