Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
