The maid of honor just puked.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
