Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
