do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
then he tried to convert me to islam
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
