Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
