do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
it was like eating out sand paper
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
