Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
