So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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